...to Know a Thing (or Ten) about Christmas Letters

Each year around this time, I produce a Christmas newsletter that attempts to capture the highlights of the year for the Italian Mama and her family.  Recently, friends asked me to share some advice about writing annual newsletters.  I am happy to oblige.  Allow me to begin with a short history lesson.


Christmas greetings have come a long way since the first Christmas card was sent to the friends of 
Sir Henry Cole 168 years ago in England. Cole, a wealthy businessman and prominent innovator in nineteenth century England, commissioned London artist John Calcott Horsley to create an attractive Christmas card wishing Cole’s associates a merry Christmas while reminding them to help the poor during the holiday season of 1843.  The tradition of sending out pre-printed holiday greetings caught on in England, and, thirty years later, commercial Christmas cards were produced in the United States.  

The first Christmas Card, 1843

Today, many people send mass emailings of holiday greetings or post annual newsletters to all of their friends on Facebook.  Others, like me, prefer sending holiday wishes in a more traditional way, which recipients can savor with their sense of touch as well as their sense of sight.  I remember watching my mother hand write little notes on each Christmas card she sent to her many friends and family members.  When she was done, she had several large stacks of sealed, neatly- addressed envelopes, each a testament to her relationship with the recipient.  When I became an adult, I vowed to carry on this quaint tradition, but as my life became full of graduate school, career building, and family raising, I realized this was one tradition that was in serious need of a makeover.

If you’re like me, you want to keep friends and family up-to-date on the goings-on in your house, but you have neither the time nor the inclination to write the same story fifty times over.  I discovered this dilemma the year my first son was born, long before Facebook was even conceived.  I was bubbling over with news about the new baby — how much he ate, how much/little he slept, the look on his face when he had gas, all the essentials.  I decided then and there that the ever-frowned-upon newsletter approach to holiday greetings would solve my problem.  Then I faced a new challenge:  how to write a year-in-review that people would want to read. 

Here’s what people hate about holiday newsletters no matter what form they take.  Writers often try to paint as rosy a picture as possible of their past year, perhaps in a moment of self-indulgence or simply in an effort to seem cheery, in keeping with the holiday spirit.  Trust me:  people are suspicious of the Norman Rockwell holiday letter.  Whose life looks like that?!  Their lives are full of the typical and maybe not so typical ups-and-downs we all experience.  We had to take a second mortgage.  The family cat took her last gasp.  Connie didn’t get into the college of her choice.  Happy as your friends may be for your apparent unbridled mirth, they will only feel worse about their own lives, which, more than likely, have spottier records, and that defeats your purpose in writing. 

Equally uninspiring is the “debriefing letter,” a mere laundry list of happenings from the past year:  Rachel made Dean’s List this fall and has declared her major to be biology.  Michael earned his green belt in karate and is working hard towards the next level.  You might think that no one wants to hear the gut-wrenching that took place while deciding on Rachel’s major or how many times Michael had to try for his green belt.  Actually, it is in these details where the story lies and where your readers will connect to your experience.  Not only will your letter be more enjoyable to read, but your friends and family will have a much fuller picture of your year if you include the background details surrounding each event. 

And, finally, some people may tend to feel just a little bit insulted that you didn’t take the time to write a personalized letter to them.  If you keep them interested, informed, and smiling while reading your “form letter,” they’ll get over it.

No matter how you send your holiday wishes, these ten steps will help you to create a greeting that friends and family will look forward to reading each year.

1.   Jot down notes through the year.  Here’s a no-brainer.  It is much easier to pick and choose which parts of your year to discuss if you have a handy list of events and your reflections on them when you sit down in December to write (often December 26 in my case!).  Writing your reflections on events as they happen ensures a fresh look at the occasion that may be hard to replicate after many months.  Having this cheat sheet makes the daunting task of capturing a whole year in one brief letter seem much more feasible.   

2.   Be honest.  Your friends and family will sense that something is amiss if you report that your year was filled with unmitigated glee — your new vacation home is all you ever dreamed of, your children are outstanding in all of their endeavors, and the dog took Best in Show at Westminster.  All of these statements may be true, but if they comprise your entire year-in-review, you just haven’t been paying attention.  Share with your readers the good, the bad, and the ugly.  They’ll thank you for it.  Example:  Bowzer took Best in Show at Westminster, but not before he had a rather messy gastrointestinal disturbance backstage.  Much as he likes to perform, he does tend to get a bit of stage fright, which has threatened his championship more than once. 

3.   Write as you speak.  If you don’t customarily use the words “apoplectic” and “deportment,” don’t write them.  Just because you’re writing it down doesn’t mean it shouldn’t sound like you.  You are the writer! Let your readers hear your voice, not some imaginary one you think sounds better than you.  It doesn’t.  Your friends know you, and they will detect the deception immediately.  Example:  I was positively apoplectic when I witnessed Carol’s unprofessional deportment during her holiday concert.  Rewrite as:  I was raging mad when I saw Carol chewing gum, chatting, and giggling with her friends during her holiday concert. 

4.   Don’t brag.  Yes, Sarah is the best soccer player on her team, and Jared won first prize at the science fair for the second time, but surely they have their shortcomings.  Admitting these while recognizing your kids’ accomplishments will go a long way toward creating a realistic picture of your family and daily life at your home.  Furthermore, you express your love for your family better if you give members an honest portrayal instead of the sanitized version.  Example:  Sarah played another fine soccer season with her team coming in first place for the regional tournament.  She was thrilled to have been named MVP for the final game in which she scored two goals and assisted on one.  Now, if I could just get her to assist me in cleaning her room, life around here would be much more peaceful, not to mention less cluttered. 

5.   Don’t vent.  Remember, it’s a holiday greeting, not a therapy session.  Sometimes it can be challenging to give friends and family a complete update without totally depressing them.  We’ve all had those years when nothing seemed to go right.  Try to find some source of solace to share with your loved ones as you fill them in on all of the slings and arrows outrageous Fortune has hurled at you this year.  Example:  John was laid off this year, which, of course, sent major shockwaves through the house.  He spent two months moping around the house, and I tried not to panic and remain optimistic.  Eventually, we were able to view the lay-off as a blessing because he was forced to review his resume and really examine his skills and what he wants to do.  Now he is considering leaving accounting altogether and starting his own personal financial consulting business out of our home (I guess he kind of liked being home all this time!).  I’m thrilled for him and for me because if this idea pans out, I’ll have a little extra help with childcare and chores.  Win-win, baby!  

6.  Tell how you felt.  Nothing bores a reader more than a list of events and accomplishments.  Tell your readers how the year’s events affected you or the people involved.  Example:  Rachel made Dean’s List this fall and has declared her major to be biology.  We are very proud of her academic achievement, especially since her high school record was not, shall we say, unblemished.  Deciding on a major was no mean feat either, requiring countless phone calls home, charts, and diagrams of course curricula emailed to friends and family, and the near exhaustion of her faculty advisor.  I can’t wait ‘til medical school!    

7.   Edit and Revise.  Consider your readers…all of them.  Did you insult Aunt Bessie by writing about the hilarious incident when she split her pants at the family reunion?  Funny story no doubt, but Aunt Bessie probably won’t appreciate seeing it in print and knowing it has been sent hither and yon.  In addition, try to keep your letter to one page if possible but certainly no more than two pages long.   

8.   Proofread, proofread, and proofread again.  You’ll be amazed at how many errors you will find, even the second time through.  You can’t expect your readers to care about your letter if you didn’t care enough to make it error free.  Read it several times in hard copy form.  I don’t know why this works, but writing just looks different on a real piece of paper than it does on a computer screen.  Do not rely on your word processor’s spelling check and grammar check.  Spell check will not distinguish, for example, between homophones, words that sound alike but are spelled differently and mean different things.  Example:  This year was truly a boar.  While your word processor is quite content at your description of your year as a giant, wild pig, you were probably referring to the lack of excitement during the past year, spelled b-o-r-e.   

9.   Choose special stationery whether you send electronic or paper letters.  Most stationery departments carry printer-friendly stationery and envelopes.  Often packages include matching mailing labels and add-ons to make your letter look extra special.  Also, check the Internet for a wide variety of sites that offer free, printer-friendly stationery or electronic stationery.  Here are just a few: 

• DLTK:  Includes free printable cards, stationery, envelopes and gift labels.
• Cloudeight:  Save postage by sending your letter electronically using stationery with scrolling designs and seasonal music.
• Mint Printables :  Allows you to choose from lined or unlined printable stationery.

10.  Have fun writing it.  If you enjoy writing your holiday letter, your readers will enjoy reading it.  It’s a little like smiling when you answer the phone.  If you are smiling, even if only on the inside, while you are writing, your words will reflect your happy mood and your readers will share the happy vibe.  Examples:  (written while frowning) This year was the pits!  (written while smiling)  This year proved to me that having a good sense of humor can mean the difference between depression and personal growth.

Following these steps as you write joyfully about your year’s ups and downs will put you well on your way to creating an annual tradition that you and your friends will enjoy.  Having the opportunity to reflect on the year as it comes to a close is one of the great joys of the holiday season.  Sharing these reflections with your loved ones is a gift that you can not buy at the mall, doesn’t have to cost a lot of money, and does not need to be returned because it is too small.  How many Christmas gifts can you say that about?